Walking our trails alone and together
Coming out of hermit mode to celebrate the world premiere of 500 Days in the Wild
Wow. I just realized I haven’t published here even once in the entire month of November. Not because I’m not writing — I am, a lot. I wrote a 4,000-word essay and submitted it to Narratively’s memoir competition (wish me luck!) and I have a bunch of half-finished pieces on my laptop, including one that is almost entirely ready for publication. But for some reason, I have felt like keeping my writing close to my chest. Some of it’s too tender and personal, and some of it’s simply unresolved.
I’ve been in hermit mode on social media, too, barely sharing anything at all over the past month. Between the war(s) and the looming 2024 election and the sudden ubiquity of AI, the world feels unpredictable right now, and a little scary. Maybe that’s no excuse to withdraw from it, but also… maybe it is? Social media makes me feel like I’m standing on the bank of a fast-flowing river churning with ice chunks, nervous toes curling inward. I have been giving myself permission not to dive in. Call it a mini digital hibernation.
That doesn’t mean I’m locking myself indoors! In fact, I just got back from a 48-hour trip to Canada to be with my dear friend Dianne Whelan for the world premiere of her feature documentary, 500 Days in the Wild, at the Whistler Film Festival. In it, she chronicles her six-year odyssey along the entire length of the Trans-Canada Trail, traveling only by foot, canoe, bicycle, snowshoe, and cross-country skis.
Dianne and I were in a romantic partnership for three years; a relationship she ended to go on this journey. So watching the film was a bittersweet experience for me. The footage at the beginning, of her earliest days on the trail, shows the woman I loved as I remember her. That red checked shirt. The crinkle in her eyes and crooked slope of her smile. By the end of the film, she is a changed person, physically and spiritually, yet somehow a purer version of herself.
The film is a stunningly beautiful visual meditation on solitude and presence, on the tension between individualism and interconnectedness, and on the harmony of the natural world of which humans are a part, even if we often seem to think we are not.
As you can imagine, Dianne faced some hairy situations and heart-stopping moments on the trail. In a film about trekking through the Canadian wilderness, I’m sure it’s not a spoiler to reveal that animals and weather feature heavily in the more dramatic scenes. But what’s most remarkable about 500 Days in the Wild is that its overwhelming vibe is not one of danger but of safety, often where you least expect it. Kindness from humans. Kinship with creatures. This film quietly and persuasively makes its case that separation from society may be the antidote to loneliness rather than its cause.
It also shows Dianne’s developing relationship with Louisa, a friend who joined her on the trail and who is now her life partner. Louisa is a beautiful badass. Seeing her paddle rapids with Dee and face off against a bear who came into their camp was a reminder that I could never have been that trail companion. That relationships have seasons, and that respecting those seasons is a good way to live in harmony with other humans.
Everything in nature has its life cycle but life itself never dies; it only changes form. So it is with love. Each of us is an essential filament in the web of life and love that binds us all together. And this fundamental truth is not altered by our seasons of isolation or the miles between us.
Also: It might be time for me to venture out of my cave and find myself a girlfriend. We are not meant to walk the full length of our trails alone.
News and offerings
The Big Leap: Write and publish your book in 2024
A new year is just about upon us, which means the Big Leap is back! In mid-February, my key creative team at Wonderwell and I will welcome up to six budding authors to Los Angeles, where we will work together in person to map out their nonfiction book plans. Will one of them be you?
This will be our third year hosting the Big Leap, an eight-week book planning program with a four-day luxury retreat at the center of it, and I absolutely love it. We bring together a very small, highly curated group of smart, heart-centered folks who want to write a nonfiction book, and immerse them in publishing and marketing love. Most of our past participants have been stuck on their book projects for a long time, often years. It feels almost magical witnessing the shifts as they get unstuck and gain clarity on the identity, structure, unique market positioning, chapter content, and title of their book-to-be.
This is truly gratifying soul work for me; spending time in deep creative connection, solving puzzles together, and watching the once-impossible become reality! If this sounds amazing to you, apply to join the next cohort through this link or the button below, and we’ll have a call to find out if it’s a fit.
NEW: One-on-One Wayfinder book coaching
One of the best parts of my year has been taking part in Martha Beck’s Wayfinder Life Coach Training. I am possibly the all-time biggest fan of Martha’s books and life-design methodologies. In the Wayfinder training program, I have learned so much about how to identify and move toward my own North Star and release any limiting beliefs that seem to be holding me back.
I took this course largely for personal enrichment and to make me a kinder, happier, more effective human and leader. It wasn’t my plan to hang out a shingle as a life coach. And honestly, the course was so worth it just for the personal insights and tools I gained over the nine months of study and practice. But I also came to see how I could blend this training with book coaching as a powerful way to help people with their book projects. Writing a successful, impactful book will challenge us in spiritual and psychological ways as well as practical ones, and my blended experience as an editor, publisher, and now a trained Wayfinder coach allows for a holistic, integrated approach to finding the best possible way forward for you.
Now that I am on my way to certification with the International Coaching Federation, I need practicum hours! And so I am soft-launching a li’l side practice as a Wayfinder-informed book coach, offering the next 50 hours of coaching at half price. To learn more about working with me one-on-one, click the button below to book a discovery call. Spots are limited.
On the Selfish Gift podcast: Dr. Eric FitzMedrud on consent, strong relationships, and hot sex
I haven’t shared an episode of The Selfish Gift with you for a while, and this is a JUICY one—and not just because we're talking about sex! If you want a deeper, more intimate connection with your partner, you should listen to it. If you've been concerned about the rise of anti-feminist spokesmen like Andrew Tate, you should listen to it. And if you want to write a non-fiction book that heals something in our culture—particularly if you're a therapist—you should DEFINITELY listen to it.
Dr. Eric FitzMedrud is a therapist specializing in relationship and sexual issues, specifically in helping men improve their sex lives by learning to regulate their emotions, removing sexual entitlement, and honing their sexual consent and negotiation skills. His book The Better Man: A Guide to Consent, Stronger Relationships, and Hotter Sex, recently published by Wonderwell, is a compassionate and practical approach to a topic that is courageous and challenging.
Just click on the pic below or find it wherever you get your podcasts.