How to pull out of a doom spiral

About your writing, or anything else

My daughter is visiting me at my Wiltshire summer housesit and we’ve been making the rounds to Neolithic monuments and other local points of historical interest. She is the researcher and navigator, I am the driver and the buyer of tickets.

Humans have been getting themselves into spirals for thousands of years.

Last Saturday we took a spontaneous jaunt down to Avebury, the largest prehistoric standing stone circle in the world. If you care to check your calendar (which we failed to do), you’ll notice that our impromptu visit coincided with the summer solstice. The place was crawling with hippies and Wiccans who came out in force with their drums and camper vans to celebrate the longest day of the year at this ancient site. Clearly informed by past experience, the National Trust posted signs reminding merrymakers not to leave dogs or belongings unattended, and that tents, fire poi and fire breathing are not permitted. Peak solstice!

A shirtless dad carries his toddler on his shoulders as mum pushes their baby in a sheepskin-lined wheelbarrow along the ancient Avenue of Stones at West Kennet.

There’s nothing like touching a stone monument erected by human hands five thousand years ago to put your art into perspective. Oh, ego, what does it mean to make a mark on the world?

I came down with a bout of creative anxiety last Wednesday, and it leveled me like the flu. It started out as just another one of those dumb days where I can’t get traction on anything. I’d slept poorly the night before, which always spells trouble. I didn’t have any scheduled coaching calls or Zoom meetings to pull me out of my funk. I did not have the energy to work out. And I had that tired-but-wired agitation that makes a satisfying day of loafing around impossible. As morning melted into midday, I sank into a Victorian level of ennui.

I decided I’d try to write my way out of it. When it works, there’s no better tonic for emotional malaise. Unfortunately, on this day it did not work. In fact, my stomach dropped when I opened my manuscript document. I’d been feeling pretty good about this chapter draft, but now all I could see on the page was a cliché-riddled, overwrought mess, and my mind felt too flabby to wrestle it into shape.

OMG, I thought. I can’t do this. I am a terrible writer.

Cue the doom spiral.

I’ll never make an artistic contribution of significant value.

All my best days are behind me.

I am two weird life choices away from turning into that woman in Grey Gardens.

I could have let these thoughts suck me into a vortex of hopelessness. Believe me, it happens. But wait, I reminded myself: None of those gloomy pronouncements is objectively true. I am not currently eating cat food out of a tin, or ribbon dancing while wearing a cardigan as a head scarf. What’s actually happening right now is I’m temporarily having an unpleasant emotional experience. Ok. That, I can deal with.

Fortunately, I now know a few tricks to coach myself up and out of the pit of despair. If you are feeling anxious about your writing (or anything else), try this.

Step one: Check your vital signs

Anxiety can have a physiological origin, so be a good nurse to yourself and check your vital signs:

• Are you underslept? You are incapable of thinking straight, so don’t do anything drastic. Go gently through the day, get to bed early, and start fresh tomorrow.

• Are you dehydrated? Hypoglycemic? Drink some water. Eat some protein.

• Are you in hypo-arousal, listless and numb? Put down your damn phone, throw on some music, and do some squats.

Step two: Reinterpret the narrative

A shitty feeling is not a crystal ball. If your brain likes to make bleak predictions based on a moment of panic, just remember: It’s wrong.

Having said that, all emotions contain useful information. They are like telegrams from the soul written in the language of the body, and we get to decipher them according to our unique code. Gently inquire within for insights that feel kind and useful as well as true.

• I’ve been glancing too lightly off my creative practice, too quick to leap into my favorite distractions. My art is craving some patient attention.

• I’ve been leaning too hard on my inner artist to be productive, squeezing my creativity like a day-old cut lime, and there’s just no juice in it right now. It needs a break from me.

• Maybe I’ve gotten a little too wrapped up in that person whose work I admire, and it’s making me wander away from my work, forget who I am, forget my worth. Time to come home to what’s mine to do.

• I’m hurting my own feelings by comparing myself to an idealized version of my life story that doesn’t exist. Who says how long anything is supposed to take? What if I’m actually doing fine and right on time?

• The messy middle is messy, duh. If I don’t love what I’m working on, that just means I’m not done with it yet.

• Writing is just hard sometimes, and the effort I put in sharpens my craft. This is what it looks like to put in the work and keep up the practice.

Step three: Reach for a simple and satisfying win

A bad mood is like a trance, and you can break it by introducing a glimmer of satisfaction. Now that you’ve shaken up the narrative in your head, take a small, simple action toward a quick win. Nothing too fancy or challenging, I’m talking make a sandwich. Fold your laundry. Call the person who popped into your head. Go see some standing stones, whatever feels right. Revel in the satisfaction that comes from taking care of yourself. Then keep going in that gentle way.

After soothing my body and investigating my feelings on my Very Bad, No Good Wednesday, I felt like plowing through a bunch of admin and cooking a chickpea curry. Next morning, I re-outlined my chapter and am back on the path.

Life may be full of cycles and repeating themes, but we do not have to keep spinning.

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